Fine. I'll sleep in my office
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Randomize
