We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
