My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
