I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
