I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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