Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
