a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
this will be a night to untag.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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