We're like a lot better than the average bears
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
She bit a glass in half.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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