he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
