I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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