fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Your cock deserves a montage
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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