i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
