That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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