Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
She said her name was "party"
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
