I wanna bring you to show and tell
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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