pedialite and red bull = repair kit
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
