i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
