Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
We had sex on a dog bed..
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
