Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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