What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
