I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
