Soap is not a condiment
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize
