Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i love accidental penises.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Randomize
