dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
How's work?
Spinning.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Randomize
