i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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