I think i peed on brittanys purse
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
