people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
