I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
