Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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