i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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