Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Come see our sink grown plant.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
