Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
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