Sry I called you an 8
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
