youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
