ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
