Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
