summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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