just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
