it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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