I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
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