Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
