after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
