went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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