Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
