dude i'm inner monologue high
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Randomize
