All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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