If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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