No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
