i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
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