we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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